Irony Medley

Welcome!   How are you?

Back at the Tavern, the ol’ grindstone again.   Special today is Pizza!   Your choice of toppings.  We’ll wash it down with a Belgian brew… Budweiser!

 While I was in Puerto Rico last week, I must have caught or brought down with me some cold bug, that just grew Thursday through the weekend.  I had to leave PR early to avoid cancellations that um… DIDN’T HAPPEN.  Ok, it was touch and go for a bit.  So I lost a day and a half of planned work.   On top of that I come home from the tropical air to SNOW storms and cold.    I take my cold to cold.  The mathmetician in me says the two can zero out. But it looks like they were squared.  I should have stayed there risking being stuck in Sun and 85 degree weather.  Such sacrifices I should have taken, but alas..

OK, I was really sick…all weekend on antibiotics now.  But feeling work-worthy.  Charlene’s at the helm so we’re assured a good day.

I caught some of the olympics this weekend. Love that Women’s curling.  I watched the Canadians versus the Swiss.  Enjoyed the serving, launching, whatever it is stylings of Cheryl Bernard.  She was quite talented. She is the captain of the team. Oh and the game is pretty interesting too.  Never really gave it a chance before.  I’d love to try it.  That and snowboarding. I’ve skied before.

Charlene and I Ping Pong-ed between the USA vs Canada Hockey game for the Gold, and NASCAR.   Exciting game.  Unfortunately the USA lost. But it was a good match.  It was odd because I knew players from both sides.   Our NASCAR hero, Mark Martin, came in 4th.   Damned Jimmy Johnson!

B.T.Dubb, We finally got an upgrade on the Jukebox, so we want to know what kind of music you like.  It’s a little played out, ya know?

With Vancouver hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics there were some questions people the world over are asking!!! These questions about Canada were posted on an International tourism Website.
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So its true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed beaver. (Italy)
A: Let’s not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton, and Halifax? (UK)
A: We still use Beaver pelts.

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle-shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North. Oh, forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is north in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is . . . oh, forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, We don’t stink.

 AYE???

Well let me earn my keep here….

Ciao.

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~ by Oscar on March 1, 2010.

5 Responses to “Irony Medley”

  1. Sorry you were sick, glad your starting to feel better!

  2. I watched curling for the first time this year, and really got into it. I finally understand the concept and the rules. And yes, Bernard was the ticket.

  3. oh, those questions… i needed a good laugh today. thanks!

    and thanks for stopping by, oscar. feel free to come rant with me anytime. =)

  4. Sorry to hear you weren’t feeling well and that you had to cut short your trip to someplace WARM to come back to WINTER! Ugh.

    I love watching the Olympics, especially speed skating and snow boarding. A lot of people got hyped over curling. I just didn’t get into it.

    For your jukebox – play me anything new country. Or Michael Buble. Love him!

  5. feel great to read such heavenly beautiful post!

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