Have Another


Welcome to Oscar’s Tavern!

It’s me your ol’ pal Oscar.  Full staff today except Mr. Willy.  The Lovely Charlene is back and she’s got some yummy Philly Cheesesteaks up for ya!   Gonna have Michelob Ultra’s as our special today!

Come on in – Sit down. You know that sounds good.

Jack and I had a little too much fun with courvoisier. A nice sweet cognac.  We had some beers the other night, then had wine with dinner, then more beers with Jessica, then he suggests this fine liquor.  Well they went down real well.  We finished up around Midnight.

The next morning I was to meet the boys for breakfast at 7:00am.  Well I didn’t show up till 8:05 and I was worn out.  It wasn’t the booze, it was the combo.  Thats the story I’m submitting anyway.

I think a lot of my friends are alcoholics.  Hmmm. Makes me think.  I’m not.  Really.  I stop.  But I am lumped in with those I hang with, so I’m assumed.  I enjoy their company before and after.   Charlene is like me.  We know when we have to stop.  But enjoy getting there. Is this bad?  I don’t think so. I’ve never missed a day of work or an obligation from drinking.  I do enjoy a drink with dinner most days.  Beer more in the summer, wine with winter dinners, beer with football, baseball.  Like all the “guys” do. I have a noon rule. Nothing before except when vacationing I reduce it to 10:30am.  Holiday cordials in the morning.  Christmas morning Mimosa’s, Thanksgiving Bloody mary’s. Easter Sambuca with coffee. Otherwise clean till noon.  Obviously during work hours we don’t imbibe.  So I’m a controlled drinker. It’s why I can tend bar.  While tending, I’m clean.  Close to the end of the shift, I may have one on the friend who’s holding the fort as I close.  But that’s all.  I don’t drink and drive home.

I wait till I get home and have a nightcap(s).

When I want to and am on the other side of the bar. I get a ride.  Thanks Charlene and Willy, and Vinny, Leo, and Lisa.  And metro cab.  I like when Kim takes me home. (especially to her place.)

An alien walks into a bar and sits next to a drunk guy and begins poking him in the shoulder.
The drunk guy just ignores him.
After a wile the guy turns to the alien and begins looking him up and down.
He notices that the alien has no genitalia.
He then asks “You guys have no genitalia, how do you guy have sex?”
The alien, still poking him in the arm, just smiles!

Joe tells his wife he is heading out to the pub for a drink.  His wife starts complaining you never take me anywhere anymore. After hours of complaining the husband agrees to take his wife to the pub. They sit down at a table and the husband gets up and goes to get drinks for him and his wife. While he was gone a man walks up to Joe’s wife and tells her he wants to turn her upside down fill her with beer and drink her dry. Joe’s wife exclaims, “you sick pervert get out of my sight.” Joe returned and his wife told him what happened and to go kick that guy’s ass. Joe said, “No way you don’t mess with a guy who can drink that much beer”. 

A little warmer here in the northeast.  Spos’ed to be in the 40’s tomorrow.  It’s not what I’ve had earlier this week, but it’s a start.

Have another?



~ by Oscar on January 15, 2010.

4 Responses to “Have Another”

  1. Most alcoholics KNOW they are alcoholics deep down. I don’t think YOU are one. Like you said, you enjoy a drink now and then, but you know when to stop. And your goal is not to get smashed. When people start missing days of work or an important obligation due to drinking, that’s when they need to really take a look at their life!

  2. Liking the Philly Cheesesteaks and Ultra, my favorite – no onions with whiz please. My only comment is that the functioning alcoholic is the worst kind. I don’t think you quailfy.

  3. I have neighbors who are functioning alcoholics. You definitely are not.

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