You Don’t Know Jack


Welcome to Oscar’s Tavern!

How are you today?  Man this has been an odd few days.  Your ol’ pal Oscar here!

Lets get ya drinking and fed.  Charlene my Tavern Queen, what be todays grub?!  

“Fish Sandwiches”


” With Fries”

“Great combo!”

“Thaaat’s right!”

And a tall cool one.   Drafts are a buck today till 7:00pm. Why 7?  I don’t know. A nice number.

I needed to go to do business in York, Pa. last Thursday and I rode out with Jack.  Jack is Twinkle’s husband. They have a business together. I needed his services to escort me out there and assist in my evaluation.  So I met up with him early in the morning at a nearby outlet center parking lot. I was there promptly. He was there waiting in his Cadillac.  Not the latest STS, but it looked like it was just out of the showroom. >Point: Cadillacs never look old.   The technogeek I am I brought 2 laptops and my Sprint wireless card.  His first comment was, “um – why not just two batteries?”  We left the parking area promptly and headed towards the Keystone State.  First talking about laptops and internet stuff. I shared with him this blog and all the little secrets that it holds. The hidden messages, the cupcake, the snoopy, all of those things that speak to people in the background.  Our sister site Conditionally Satisfactory, where it’s non Tavern talk.  More of my personal blog. He was interested in this.  He slowly began to know me and I could see he thinks I’m nuts.

Conversation went to music, we are on the same page there. In the meantime, he wasn’t completely positve of the directions.  “Hey keep and eye out for Route 30. “OK.”  “Hey we’re doing pretty good as far as time, no traffic” just as sure as he said that, a minute later we were driving 20 miles an hour.  LOL

When I left the house earlier I stopped at the nearby Dunkin’ Donuts and got my regular medium coffee. Figuring I’d have time to rid of it before I got into Jack’s Cadillac.  An hour into the trip I began to feel the urge to drain. “Hey – when you get a chance, stop at a rest area, I need to use a restroom.”  A few miles later we decided to pull of and just use a restroom at a McDonalds.  Jack pulled off the highway, crossed the overpass and pulled into the lot slowly and carefully looking for the best space to which no car door or any damage could occur to his car. I’m squirming.  There’s a spot!  No, cars are too close.  We circled the lot and finally found a spot. We briskly walked in and took care of business.

Pulling out of the McDonalds we crossed over the highway and alarms started going off in the car. What’s that he said. His door wasn’t completely closed.  A bit embarrassed he said, guess you’ll write about this in your blog.

Thats a fact Jack.

The rest of the ride was good. Well it all was. We met our contact – did business and finished up by 1:00pm-ish.  Let’s do lunch.  It was my preference to find a local establishment that had “neon signs”.  So we went with “Dave” to a local italian place that had…beverages. It’s funny how professional etiquite comes into play.  Me representing our fine establishment, and Dave wanting my business.  We sat at a table and the waitress asked if she could get us drinks.  Jack chose Iced tea, Dave did the same. I asked for a beer.  After I asked for a beer, it was like, ok, its safe to drink. Dave suddenly decided he’d have a beer also. I said to Jack – go ahead have a drink.  Now he’d rather have a double Vodka on the rocks. No, I’m driving. (Smart guy).  We had a couple each.  That opened the door for some witty banter. Made the business cozy. Thats what I do.  (Oh – yeah, we had to park far away at the resturant too)

Riding back I was talking to Kim on the phone. Not  holding anything back I just said what I wanted to say and Jack would comment when he saw the chance.  We passed a little house that was in the form of a shoe. Like the Mother Goose “Old Woman who lived in a Shoe”.  I tried to take a picture of it but it came out blurry. Send it to Kim and she said it was nice.  (you couldn’t make hardly anything from it. )  

Jack and I need to make another trip in May. Should be interesting.   Thanks Jack!

By the way – have you ever really thought about Mother Goose’s words?  What was she on?    Another Blog.


Three guys die and end up at the gates of heaven, talking to St. Peter.

“So,” Peter asks the first guy, “how many times did you cheat on your wife?”

“None. I had a perfect marriage.”

“Great,” says Peter. “You get to cruise around heaven in a Cadillac. And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife?”

“Only twice, I think,” says the second guy.

“Okay. You get to cruise around heaven in a Lincoln. And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife?”

“12 times. Maybe 13,” says the third guy.

“Okay,” says Peter. “You get a rusty Ford.”

Later that day, the guy in the Lincoln sees the guy in the Cadillac crying.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just saw my wife.”


“She was riding a skateboard.”

 What a staff I have here at our Tavern.  They watch over me like a mother hen!  As some of you know I have been seeing Kim lately and I keep it personal. Well a few nights ago she came in as I was closing and we spent some time chatting in my office.  Chatting in my office…  Ok, maybe some hugs and smootches, but really folks thats all.  The VS panties?  I bought them for her. I saw them in the catalog she left on the bar, she dog-eared the page back when she was filling in for me while I was in Florida, so I ordered them for her. We left late so she must have forgotten them, and I forgot to close the door. She’s a little embarrassed as I expected but all is well.

Meanwhile, life here is normal. If you call life at a Tavern normal. Guess its our environment. What we become adjusted to.  Cute~Ella is here today.




Our awesome friend “The Girl”  (Robin) passed along this award she recieved from Meleah to me.  We here at Oscar’s would like to thank the Academy…God, and all of our blog friends.  It is such an honor. 


“The blogger who receives this award believes in the Tao of the zombie chicken – excellence, grace and persistence in all situations, even in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. These amazing bloggers regularly produce content so remarkable that their readers would brave a raving pack of zombie chickens just to be able to read their inspiring words. As a recipient of this world-renowned award, you now have the task of passing it on to at least 5 other worthy bloggers. Do not risk the wrath of the zombie chickens by choosing unwisely or not choosing at all.”

So I am Sending it to:


World of Weasels

Unraveling Life’s Mysteries

Jen Rinaldi Photography

I Am a Child of a Loving father

Holly’s Never Everland


Gotta Love it. Now if i can only figure out how to place this stuff on the right column like a lot of you do.

Oh and one more thing today……    Tomorrow Charlene is taking cooking lessons for Fried chicken




~ by Oscar on April 29, 2009.

7 Responses to “You Don’t Know Jack”

  1. I’m having popcorn…a bloody mary would go nicely with it. Where’s my bloody mary!???!

  2. Zombie Chicken Award, That’s an original, thanks for thinking of me.
    BTW I’m not buying the panty story.

  3. Hi Oscar, Thank you for deeming my blog worthy of the award. LOL, leave me a message if you “…figure out how to place this stuff on the right column.”

  4. Well, Oscar… it’s your tavern and your office. If you want to play kissy face in your office with your woman, more power to you! Very sweet of you to buy her something special from VS, even if it did end up embarassing her! 😉

    Thanks for the fun award! I’ve never received a zombie chicken award before!

  5. Oh Oscar… what tangled webs we weave… is that Mother Goose? Well, I hope you are happy with Kim and her VS underware. 🙂

  6. Damn, another award. Now I’ve got to find another place to put it. Maybe I’ll dump the Oscar, it doesn’t compare to the chicken zombie….BTW I don’t buy the panty story either.

  7. I’m so glad you reposted your award, I was terrified you’d get attacked by Zombie Chickens and have to close the Tavern. Hey Ella….have an Ultra on me ! Oscar, set her up a tab XXXOOO

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