Willy’s Blue Undies

Welcome to Oscar’s Tavern!

How are you today….   ?  We’re all just spiffy here….    Yesterdays.. “Events” had us all here verrry late.  Charlene disappeared at 12,  Vinnie is sleeping on the pool table.  >augh<  I never went home.  I slept in the office on my chair.  Too many stragglers..  But Hell we had a good time.  An old friend who performs old Irish ballads came in and entertained the folks into the wee hours. It was SRO!  Sold out of Guiness and Smithwicks by 11:00pm.   Lisa is still sleeping in a booth.  She lost her slacks somehow.  I covered her up with a few bar towels.

Who the hell is thinking of food now...  Well Leo is here – He’s covering the bar pies so we have that. And definately 2 things. A bit of Hair O’ the dog, and Bloody mary’s.

 

Courtney is here. encouraging me to stay verticle. She’s drinking wine and we’re talking about neck ties. She’s a sweetie.  Her date went well last week. 

Willy hasn’t even called in. Like clockwork, he proudly displayed his green undies to an un suspecting young lady.  Fortunately she laughed and made a size joke (bitch  LOL) and laughed it off.

Rumor has it by the time Mrs. Willy came… 8-ish there was a chemical reaction down there.

But we’ll not mention it. He’d be too embarrassed.

Wow some girl just walked in with a bad case of pink eye…. Coutrney is hysterical.

Sam wakes up at home with a huge hangover. Forcing him to open his eyes, the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table….

He sits down and notices his clothes in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, all spotless and clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table, “Sweetheart, your breakfast is on the stove. I had to leave early to go shopping. Love you.”

So, he goes to the kitchen and, sure enough, there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is sitting at the table, eating. 

“What happened last night, son?” Sam asks.

His son replies, “Well, you came home after 3:00 AM, very drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door.”

Confused, Sam asks, “So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?”

“Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, ‘Lady, leave me alone. I’m married’,” his son replies.

Oh here comes Charlene.  Hey Sweetie!  Guess we’re all a bit fuzzy today.

Well lemme get this place straightened up. Looks like Courtney’s glass is low.

Have a great day after.

Ciao!

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~ by Oscar on March 18, 2009.

6 Responses to “Willy’s Blue Undies”

  1. Sounds like a WILD night at Oscar’s! Employees sleeping on pool tables and losing their pants. I know where I want to go next SPD!

    Love that joke!

  2. You’d be hysterical about the “pink eye” if you knew what I knew about it!

    And Oscar, just because YOU blushed when I mentioned what was done with the tie, doesn’t mean that others would 😉

    Good seeing you again!

  3. Sadly, I can relate to sleeping on pool tables… Or waking up in a washing machine (top-loaded). Mind you, this was back in college. Does Oscar’s have washing machines?

  4. So glad Courtney’s date went well (I was wondering).

    Love Sam’s story!

    I’m dragging a little today… unfortunately not because I was at Oscar’s Tavern all night! I was up with a fussy little girl and then couldn’t get back to sleep… riveting stuff… I know!

    I am so touched that you’ve included me on your blogroll! Thank you!

  5. A good time was had by all, or it would seem. I really want to know the story behind the pink eye…

  6. I hope you all have a smooth recovery. I loved today’s joke.

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