Way to Go, Ohio


 Welcome to Oscar’s Tavern! 

 Oscar is in Ohio this week. We don’t know what the hell for, but he asked me to keep you all company. Hi, it’s Lisa!

Charlene has a tasty dish today! Oscar usually will say something like, “along with Charlene, we have a tasty dish…” he’s so corny.  Anywho, she has fresh made BLT’s and fries.  Now we’re having a Budweiser special today too, but Oscar says we have to have, pardon my French….”Rocky Mountain M F’ers..! ”  A drink one of our regulars told us about, The Girl You don’t bring home To Momma.  A Rocky Moutain M’fer is Amaretto, So-Co, and Lime Juice. She say’s is it’s sooooo good.  Thanks Robin!

Oscar sent this note:carvers

Hey everyone!   I’m as Willy Nelson would say, “On the Road agin’ ”  In Ohio.   Benchmarking drinkin’ establishments as it were.  I went to this place named “Carvers” steak and chop house.  Very nice if you are ever this way.  I may go back tonight.  Well have a drink on me!  Ciao!

Oh sure, he’s out there “benchmarking…”  We’re here working.   I keep thinking about that Pretender’s song. My City was gone.  I wonder if he’s thinking that too – He’s a Pretenders fan.

In Ohio, an unidentified man in his late twenties walked into a police station with a 9-inch wire protruding from his forehead and calmly asked officers to give him an X-ray to help him find his brain,which he claimed had been stolen. Police were shocked to learn that the man had drilled a 6-inch deep hole in his skull with a Black & Decker power drill and had stuck the wire in to try and find the missing brain.

Dumb Ohio Laws

  • In Ohio, if you ignore an orator on Decoration day to such an extent as to publicly play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the speaker’s stand, you can be fined $25.00.
  • Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.
  • It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
  • It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
  • The Ohio driver’s education manual states that you must honk the horn whenever you pass another car.
  • Participating or conducting a duel is prohibited.
  • Breast feeding is not allowed in public.
  • It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house.
  • It is illegal to mistreat anything of great importance.
  • Owners of tigers must notify authorities within one hour if the tiger escapes.
  • No one may be arrested on Sunday or on the Fourth of July.
  • I think Willy is taking a liking to Robin’s drink.  He’s had 4 now. Perhaps we should call the girly drinking man a cab.   LOL

    Well let me get back to the bar.

    Have a great day!


    ~ by Oscar on March 6, 2009.

    4 Responses to “Way to Go, Ohio”

    1. I want to go to Ohio just to break the law. I would drive around in my car on Sunday, NOT honking at other drivers with Judas Priest’s “Breakin the Law” blaring from the stereo as I put the pedal to the metal in my patent leather shoes on my way to a whale fishing tournament.

    2. I love the ‘on the books laws”.

    3. Ohio is messed up!

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