Chew On This.

Welcome To Oscar’s Tavern

How are you today?  I’m here all by myself.  It’s Lisa.

Willy isn’t here yet.  What the hell is going on?  Oscar and Charlene are AWOL.  Vinnie said he’ll be here today but I’m just not comfortable with this whole thing. I’m starting to worry.

Well anyway its been warmer.  So all the snow has melted. And with that comes the mud.  The construction workers up the road came trodding in here after 5 yesterday. I saw them try to wipe thier boots, but the floor was still a mess. Thank god Leo helped me clean it up last night.

Well the juke box guy finally came in yesterday. He said a connector cable was chewed up.  CHEWED?  He laughed and said he replaced it. I jukeboxdidn’t see the old cable but that makes me feel just great. What would come in here and chew things!!!  Augh!   What next?  I’m afraid to go anywhere by myself here now. Especially the storage room. We’ve NEVER had any problems with …pests here at Oscar’s. God I wish the hell he’d call so I could tell him about this. Charlene and Willy are part owners, but I think Oscar holds the most of it.  What the hell would chew a cable?????? This is freaking me out. I wish someone would come in already…

Well the lunch special is gonna be nada because nobody is here.  I’ll have to order an assortment of subs for the regulars. Thats what Oscar does when he’s in a bind. Charlene really runs that part of the business.  And where

the hell is she?  Drink special is Amstel Light by request!

Oh THANK GOD!!! Vinnie just walked in!!!

Be right back…   click on the jukebox for some music while I talk to Vinnie!

Confucius Says:
 Man who run in
 front of car get tired.
 Man who run behind
 car get exhausted.
 Man with one
 chopstick go hungry.
 Man who scratch ass
 should not bite fingernails.
 Man who eat many
 prunes get good run for money.
 Baseball is wrong:
 man with four balls cannot walk.
 War does not
 determine who is right, war determine who is  left.
 Wife who put  husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
 Man who fight with
 wife all day get no piece at night.
 It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
 Man who drive like  hell, bound to get there.
 Man who live in glass house should change clothes in  basement.
 Man who fish in other man’s well often catch crabs.
  Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

Oh and one more: Man who leave bar behind should have bar in behind.

These guys are a$$holes!   There was no chewed up cable. Vinnie knew I would be here and was busting my…chops.  There was a loose circuit board. Someone must have banged on it. He had the service guy in on it.  Jerk loafs!

And I’m not putting any snoopy’s or cupcakes on here Oscar because I’m pissed at you for not calling us.  Here How’s this!

   OOOH Patrick Swayze!!!  




OOOhh Hot GUY pictures on Oscar’s tavern Blog!




O – you better f-ing call.

Oh have a nice day.


~ by Oscar on February 11, 2009.

4 Responses to “Chew On This.”

  1. Words to live by.

  2. Ohhhh, Oscar your in trouble ! Maybe a possum chewed your cable.

  3. Oscar! I think Lisa’s mad at you! You better make nice before you lose all your good help!

  4. Create pure drinking water with our Atmospheric Water Generators

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