Did I mention it’s cold?

bottomsup

Welcome to Oscar’s Tavern!  How are we all doing today? For us up here it’s a cold a$$ed day!   Come on in and warm up with a shot o’ yer favorite whiskey, or brandy! 

Todays special is Hot Open faced meatloaf sandwiches, with brown gravy and potato’s!  Plus we now have the bar pies as a regular, thanks to the cooperation of our dear sweet Charlene.  Booze o’ the day is Stolichnaya! 

What can I get you?

Well it IS cold out!  But then again that’s what happens in winter. But I was thinking (oh no), most mammals are suited for the environment they live in. IE: polar bears have a warm coat,  lizards have skin that can handle heat.  So if we belonged in the north, we should have been born with a coat of fur or something, right?  So we, really don’t belong living where it’s cold.  I understand that in the earlier days, a team was sent to the Minnesota region to explore colonization. They came back saying it was not suitable for life due to the cold.  … I don’t know…. “Not fit for man nor beast!” as Yukon Cornelius would say….   Well as you all know, I’m not a fan of cold.

So the Tavern is happy our GIANTS won the NFC East title. Sad we lost to the Eagles who brought thier game. Looks like we forgot ours, or Plaxico had it in his pocket and shot it.  But Thanks to the Steelers, who defeated the Cowboys (sorry Doxie) we clinched it. Let’s hope we can keep it going from here.

There’s another Swiffer commercial out.  It shows “broom” resting in the hot tub, waiting for the housewife…  LOL  Watch broom “drop its towel” …   Check it out: CLICK HERE  Those are funny.

  Al Bundy’s Christmas Eve 

‘Twas the night before Christmas, And all through the house,

No food was a-stirrin’, Not even a mouse. 

Stockings were hung round Dad’s neck like a tie,

Along with a note that said,“Presents or die.” 

Children were plotting All night in their beds,

While the wife’s constant whining Was splitting his head. 

But daddy had money This year in the bank,

Then they closed up early, And now dad’s in a tank.

 All of a sudden, Santa appeared,

A sneer on his face, Booze in his beard.

 “Santa,” I said, As he laughed merrily,

“You do so much for others, Do something for me.” 

“Bundy,” he said,“You only sell shoes,

Your son is a sneak thief, Your daughter’s a floose.”

 “Ho ho,” Santa said, “Should I mention your wife?

Her hair’s like an A-bomb, Her nails like a knife.” 

He climbs up the chimney, That fat piece of dung,

He mooned me two times, He stuck out his tongue.

 I heard him exclaim, As he broke wind with glee,

“You’re married with children, You’ll never be free.”

christmaslightsO K. Well we decorated the Tavern here with lights and stuff. Nothing too crazy.    I’m startingto think about what the hell to buy all my people here for Christmas and the holidays.  Hmmmm.   Got any ideas?

 I pitty the fool who don’t water ma head!

Well some folks just came in, lemme tend the bar here!

Thanks for coming by!

Ciao

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~ by Oscar on December 9, 2008.

5 Responses to “Did I mention it’s cold?”

  1. Hey… Minnesota does have SOME redeeming qualities. And I’ll be sure to let you know what they are just as soon as my brain thaws a bit and can remember what they might be.

    I hope you got me one of those Mr. T heads! I always wanted a Chia Pet.

  2. It is FREEZING lately. Im glad to hear the tavern is decorated in xmas lights. we need to get out act together over here already. and yeah, add me on the list of people that want a chia pet Mr T head!

  3. That was so funny, I really enjoyed. No worries about cold today – it’s freaking 62 degrees out there.

  4. buy them chocolates!!!

  5. it’s so cold my goosebumps have goosebumps! it’s not at all right! but i do loves me some yukon cornelius. good man.

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