Appliance Love

 

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Welcome to Oscar’s Tavern!   How are you today?  Our Specials for today are Open Faced Hot turkey sandwich, and the drink of the day is Dewar’s White Label scotch!

What can I get you!

Our wide screen TV over the pool table is on the fritz! We just got it not a month ago. Guess they’re not making stuff as good as they used to.  Our neon sign is flickering, The “Smithwicks” tap handle just snapped off. (over use?)  I’m afraid of what is coming next. An old friend of mine told me that appliances and other household items talk to each other. So when the washing machine goes, it tells the hot water heater and it goes right after. Could it be because they had a hot relationship? (DOH!) Whatever it is, I am starting to believe it.  When it rains, it pours….

And for those Swiffer lovers out there, I had to let mop back into the Tavern. Swiffy just couldnt handle day old brandy on the floor behind the pinball machine. How it got there, I’ll never know. Probably from the other day when we gave out shots.

Sorry for the A.D.D. today, I have a sinus headache that just isn’t letting me think straight!

How ’bout them Giants!   10-1!    We had the good widescreen on yesterday and everyone enjoyed the game.

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course,” comes the reply.
The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s have another round to Ireland.”Dublin,” comes the reply.

The first man then asks: “Where are you from?”

“I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man.

“Of course,” replies the second man.

I’m curious, the first man then asks: “Where in Ireland are you from?”

 

“I can’t believe it,” says the first man. “I’m from Dublin too! Let’s have another drink to Dublin.”

“Of course,” replies the second man.

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: “What school did you go to?”

“Saint Mary’s,” replies the second man, “I graduated in ’62.”

“This is unbelievable!”, the first man says. “I went to Saint Mary’s and I graduated in ’62, too!”

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. “What’s been going on?” he asks the bartender.

“Nothing much,” replies the bartender. “The O’Kinly twins are drunk again.”

So are you getting ready for Thanksgiving!  A lot of folk have people coming to visit this week. Hopefully they’ll bring them here to the tavern for a coupleof drinks and some good conversation. we like it when you bring your friends. Charlene won’t be in after today till next week but Lisa will have some stuff for us.  Maybe I can get Jeannie to make us up some tasty pastries or something. Gotta love ‘er! Yeah, my “fond” meter is pinned.

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Well let me get back to work. I’m gonna finish early today.  Willy said he’d come in.

Ciao!

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~ by Oscar on November 24, 2008.

One Response to “Appliance Love”

  1. Thanksgiving is MY FAVORITE holiday….and I have ADD so this post made perfect sense to me…When It Rains It Pours is sofa king true….and I LOVE me some Swiffer action.

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