Today is a sad sad sad day for The Girl.   I had to watch Oscar’s team take the WS last night, and now I’m in the bar with my tail between my legs drinking away my sorrows.  

I now owe Oscar a dinner at the location of his choice.   And no honey, I don’t want to go to Hooters or Delilah’s Den.  And I promise I will mace any homeless people that come near you after dark.

Since my spirits are down and my team lost, we are having comfort food for lunch today !!!  Big ole greasy cheeseburgers with bacon and ranch dressing, curly cheese fries, and some Miller Lite to wash it down.  Anyone with the guts to wear a Phillies jersey in the establishment today will receive a free shot of Jack Daniels to help numb the pain of the broken heart.

I hope Oscar is enjoying his victory down there is sunny Florida.  I walked to work this morning with my teeth chattering.  I got an email from him earlier this week bragging about his tan.  I may have to beat him up a little after he returns and decides to get back to reality with the rest of us pee-ons of the working world.

Sorry I don’t have anything naughty for you.  I had Phillies pasties made and I special ordered a g-string for our victory party, but unfortunately I will not be able to wear them until next year.   But for your viewing pleasure I have included the painted on Jersey.  It will probably be the last Phillies item you see in the tavern for quite a while.

Hope everyone has a great upcoming weekend !   And despite our loss – I still heartily believe that the YANKEES SUCK.  But I do love my Oscar XXOO

Peace out Peeps:

The Girl

Hey everybody! It’s me – Terri. Since Oscar is on vacation in Florida (again!) he left me in charge of the bar today!

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I was getting kind of tired of looking at that little bimbo in the martini glass at the top of most of Oscar’s posts. I thought I’d bring in a little change of decor for the day. What do you think? This guy’s pretty cute, and he just so happens to drink one of my favorite beers.

I’m feeling a little chilly today, so I thought I’d put something on the menu that puts everyone in a vacation frame of mind. Oscar may be on a real beach vacation, but we can all go on a virtual vacation. We’re having Mexican today! Take your pick. There are burritos, chimichangas, tacos and plenty of tortilla chips with salsa and my special home-made guacamole.

Surprised Mom is mixing up margaritas and serving Coronas. Or if you prefer, The Girl and her friend (that’s him over there, to the right) will fix you up with a shot. They’ve got Naked Navels (Absolut and peach schnapps), G-Bombs (Absolut and Goldschlager) and something called (giggle) a Cum Scorcher… made with Absolut, butterscotch schnapps, Kahlua and Irish cream. Oscar said The Girl was a lot of fun. Now I know why! Hey, Girl! Have your friend pass me a Naked Navel, will ya?

Oh, yeah. Clearly, things are going to get a little rowdy in here tonight. Meleah’s going to run the karaoke machine tonight. She’ll do a great job of keeping the place lively. If I have enough shots, I’ll get her to sing Jose Cuervo with me! (Get your ear plugs out!)

And as much fun as it will be with me in charge, it’s just not the same around here without ya, Oscar! In your honor, I’m offering one more drink special, straight from my own hometown.

A Texan, A New Yorker and  New Jersey resident were drinking their favorite beverages in a bar.

The Texan drained his glass of tequila, threw the half-full bottle up in the air, drew and fired his pistol, shattering the bottle. The other two were shocked at his ruining perfectly good tequila.

The Texan, however, simply drew himself up and announced, “Where I come from, we have plenty of tequila.”

The New Yorker, not to be outdone, drained his glass of wine, threw the half-full wine bottle in the air, drew and fired his pistol, also shattering his bottle.

Looking over at the other two with an air of superiority characteristic of New Yorkers, he announced, “Where I come from, we have plenty of fine wine and the best of everything.”

The New Jersey resident drained his bottle of Yuengling Lager, threw it up in the air, drew his pistol, and shot the New Yorker dead. He then caught the bottle on the way down and showed it to the Texan. “Where I come from,” he said slowly, “we recycle bottles AND we have too many f*cking New Yorkers.”

Hurry back, Oscar! We miss ya!

Sorry all you sports fans at Oscar’s Tavern, but SurprisedMom is not into sports at all, and especially not East Coast sports teams. When I follow baseball, which is rarely, my heart belongs to a team that begins with a C and has four letters. That’s only because that’s the team that Grandpa followed. Otherwise, it’s just male adults running around a field in pajamas.

Today at Oscar’s Tavern I hope we have plenty of Miller Lite on tap, just because it’s my favorite.  We also need something warm to ward off the damp weather. How about chili? Maybe chili cheese dogs with cottage fries? It’s a filling meal.

As I sit behind the bar, I’m also trying to think of new fundraising ideas for the grade school my daughters attended. They are always looking for new and improved ideas to raise funds to keep the school open. I think I have it. Ladies Night Out with a twist.

You’ve heard of lingerie shows, even ones with the female models on the runway showing off the latest and sexiest fashions. Well . . .  how about MALE models debuting the latest and sexiest in men’s under fashions? Don’t you think women would come out and pay, maybe even big bucks, to see this? They can even feel good about themselves because all the money would go to a charity.

I would have it at Oscar’s Tavern of course. There would be gorgeous men, shimmering lights, soul grabbing music, screaming women, delicious food, exotic drinks and a heck of a good time for every woman who entered the door.

The beautiful men would be wearing what they wear next to their skin. I wonder if one would be up to wearing “Barely There.” Now that would be worth the ticket alone.

The decor would be glittery as well, in blue and white. Women could win prizes, with the top prize being a date with the model of her choice. The raffle tickets would be expensive and again the women could feel good about themselves because it’s all going to charity.

Women often look for a way to vent their outrageous side, especially women who might have tamed down with motherhood and age. I think this would be a great way to have a fantastically fun night out without feeling bad in the morning . . . unless they over indulged.

Of course, a bus would be rented to drive all the intoxicated guests home. The designated driver would be provided.

So, the challenge would be to transform Oscar’s Tavern into a large boudoir for the evening and show everyone a good time.

I think this would make a great FUN-raiser and I believe it could make a pretty buck as well.

One challenge would be coming up with a name. I mean you couldn’t call it a lingerie show. Men don’t wear lingerie, well some do, but that’s not the point.

Well, back to the present and serving Oscar’s customers. I can’t sit here daydreaming about gorgeous men in underwear all day.

Anyone want a Miller Lite?

(Sorry about the lack of graphics, but SMom couldn’t figure out how to add them. Yeah, sometimes my computer illiteracy shines through.)

Hey all you loyal Patrons of Oscar’s – most of you Yankee fans.  I’m a little late this morning because I had to go to Modell’s to get all the Phillies decorations for the bar today.   See Oscar is now shaking his head, probably muttering to himself “What was I thinking asking the Girl to watch the bar after the Phillies spanked us hard on a 6 to 1 win.   Can you say unbeLEEvable !!!!!!!!

Ummm, yes folks the Phillies – ya know us, the New York Post called us The Frillies !   We came in your town and bent you over and stuck it right up your blue asses !!!

In celebration we are having traditional Philly Cheesesteaks for Lunch and have what ever brew you want because it’s CELEBRATION TIME, THE PHILLIES TOOK GAME 1 – ha, in your face Yankee fans – and yes Oscar you will be treating me to Ruth Chris !  Ya know I have very expensive taste when it comes to my meals.  I’m thinking some surf and turf with Champagne to celebrate !

Today at the Tavern anyone wearing Phillies gear will be given half off their drinks until first pitch tonight.  Anyone found wearing a Yankee hat, shirt, or underware will be promptly yanked out the door.   We  have taken over the Tavern in Red Style.  The Phanatic will be stopping by later.  He’s a personal friend of mine. We are going to be burning Oscar’s hat that I stole from his closet last night.  He forgot it when he went to Florida – Ha ! Ha !

Adios Spankee Fans – Here’s to the Ass Kicking you took last night.

You all have an excellent Thirsty Thursday at the Tavern.

Forever My Love to Oscar :

Welcome to Oscar’s Tavern!

Well hello there!  Oscar here at your service!   Sit down!   Our drink special is Coors Light! And we have some delicious Burgers and Cheeseburgers ready to cook up for ya!   

What can I get YOU??

Oh!   A cheeseburger with tomato and lettuce?  Coming right up!  And a Coors Light?!  Yes! 

Well we here at the Tavern are happy the Yankees are in the World Series this year!   We have a tough opponent, The Phillies are gonna be a hard team to beat!   But we’re behind the guys and think we can do it!   I will be in Florida during the Series, taking a vacation!   Yes, traveling because I WANT TO, not because I have to.  Will visit the daughter and family.  We will all be in front of the TV for the games!  Looking forward to it!

Charlene was at the bar shown above over the weekend.  She says they tore the place up!  Check it out!  I love the whole theme, its great!  The Trailer Park Lounge. !  She always seems to find the real gems!   This is why we love her so much!

Hey I’m gonna be on a real trip till the 9th of November!   So we will have some posts by Guests.  And if I can I’ll write up a quick one from the beach in Florida.

Happy Halloween!

Ciao

Welcome to Oscar’s Tavern!

It’s just another Momo Friday.  I like that, it works.   I’ll have to reach out to Momo Fali and ask what her favorite drink is and make that a special.

Meanwhile, I’m back from Puerto Rico.  On my flight out I could see the fire that occurred last night.  We looked out of the plane window and could see the huge blaze that was unfolding.  It was kinda creepy.  They say that no one was seriously injured.

Well today’s special is ballpark style hotdogs and Budweiser!  In celebration of the MLB Playoffs!  We here at the Tavern are Yankee fans.  We’re sure we’ll beat the Angels and meet up with the Phillies.   The Angels definately a tougher team than the Dodgers. We wanted to see us vs. the Dodgers. A meeting between the present and past managers.  We still Love Joe Torre.

But, we’ll entertain Philly.  Let them have thier fun. And I don’t want to hear any of this “Buying a ball team”, or “Buying a game”.  We couldn’t “buy” a series last year could we?  We have a huge fan base.  We out sell every venue for baseball, our seats are more than 80% full EVERY GAME.  So money must come from somewhere… Oh and we have fans all over the world.  THEY buy caps, jackets, trinkets, etc.  So if we have money, it’s because we have a lot of fans.  So if we CAN buy a good pitcher, why not?   And tell your player we lure to stay? .  Get your fans to fill the park even when they’re on a losing streak.  We’re full time fans. Not “Fair weather fans”.

And we don’t burn Philly caps in the street….LOL   (ok, “The Girl” and I have a wager)… or Angel caps to that matter. We just win. 

       GO YANKEES!

Well if you’re a Phillies, or Angels fan, or any other team, we’ll still have you in the Tavern.  After all , its ” just a game”

We’ll talk football soon.

Well have a great weekend!    Thanks for stopping by!

Ciao

Welcome to Oscar’s Tavern!

It’s a ho hum Friday here at the ol’ place.   The rain is just coming down and making the place gloomy…

My mind is somewhere else today.    It’s after lunch, just before happy hour(s).  Yeah, what’s that. There’s never a “Happy Hour”. 

I’m tired…  I let Charlene go early today.  Willy is here, we’re just watching the TV and Bull$#itting…  I’m jonesing for my sweetie real bad.  Must be my time o’ the month…  LOL.

Some  girls here were talking about Halloween and what costumes they may wear this year.  All I  want to know where they are Trick or treating, or partying this year.  One is dressing up in a slinky green leotard and frilly undies, wearing a turtle shell. Going as a Ninja Turtle. Another one is gong as an old “Flapper girl”.   And another one is dressing up as a Hooters Girl.   Yikes…What ever happened to Cinderella and Batman?

A woman arrived at a party and while scanning the guests, spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, “Hello. My name is Carmen.”

“That’s a beautiful name,” he replied. “Is it a family name?”

“No,” she replied. “As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most – cars and men. Therefore, I chose Carmen. What’s your name?”

He answered “B.J. Titsengolf.”

 Hey, don’t read that to the kids!!!!!  It’s just me….LOL

Boy, all these pictures of ladies makes this post look like it was done by “The Girl“, who I met yesterday. I was in town and we spent lunch together. She’s a sweetheart.  We had a nice conversation.  Agreed we’d do it again. Thanks Honey!!! I had fun!

Oh, the Title?  I just finished reading Momo Fali, and it just worked.  LOL

Well I’m beat. Leo’s coming in for the night shift.  Gonna go home unwind, get cozy, open a few and watch the game.

Have a great Weekend!

Ciao!

Welcome To Oscar’s Tavern!

Hi!   It’s me!  Oscar!  Remember?  The folically challenged owner of this fine establishment!  Whew! It’s good to be home for a bit. Travel has been relentless!  I was supposed to be in Puerto Rico this week, but that got cancelled.  Maybe next week.  Either there or Kentucky.  We’ll know by tomorrow.

Well my dear friend who I’ve missed. The Lovely Charlene tells me we’re having Philly Cheese Steaks today!  Is this in honor of the Phillies? Hmmm, perhaps The Girl had some influence here…  Well to wash that down we have Michelob Ultra’s and Miler Lite for our drinks of the day!

Wow, these past two weeks have flown by!   Traveling here and there.  Had a great time in Chicago and Minneapolis.  Lots of business! 

I’ve kinda neglected the Tavern lately and want to apologize to Charlene, Willy and the crew.  But all of this will benefit us in the long run.  These “benchmarking Tavern Tours” are really business meetings.  I’ll try to put more focus on the ol’ Place.

Lisa is here today. She’s talking to a new regular, Grace.  Grace loves Miller Lite.  She’ll be happy today.  Kim was here earlier, looking as adorable as ever.  Little Eric was happy to see me come back. He did one hell of a job filling in. LOL   A lot of people are asking what is the relationship with Eric….   Hmmm.

I squeezed in a trip to Washington DC.  Actually Alexandria, Va.  My nephew’s baby was being Christened.  It was nice.  Did some sight seeing on Saturday.  In all of the years I’ve lived less than 4 hours from DC, I’ve never visited it.  Thats’ awful!!   Well I got to this time. Its very nice.  I went to Arlington Cemetary.  I witnessed the changing of the guard at the tomb of the unknown soldier.  Very Impressive and touching. You should see for yourself! I saw the Lincoln memorial, the Washington Monument… it was all fun.

Well, I have to get some bills paid and some beer ordered!   Thanks for stopping by!

What will you have?

Ciao!

Welcome to Oscar’s Tavern!

Willy here.  Oscar is still in the Mid-West.  He’s a damned traveling fool!   He started in Chicago and is now in the Twin Cities, Minneapolis and Saint Paul. 

Specials today are Miller Lite and Chicago Style Pizza!   A request from Oscar.  Why it had to be today with him not here is beyond me.  He said he ran into a suprise in Chicago.  Guess we’ll have to find out what that means. usually a female.  LOL   >tsk< >tsk< >tsk<

He called me from the road in Wisconsin.  Said he needs to come back there and visit.  Said a lot of people were not happy with the Green Bay/Vikings game. Especially given the Brett Farvre change.   Said people were almost violent! and speaking of sports, he was at a resturant/bar called Axels’s in Woodbury, MN. last night. Watched the Yankees beat the Twins.  Said he couldn’t cheer!   LOL

He’s all excited. He’s meeting a friend today.  Said he has to bring his A game.  That means he’ll shower twice.  LOL

Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in Grant Park when one is suddenly attacked by a rabid rottweiler.

 Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick and shoves it under the dogs collar, twists it breaking the dog’s neck and saving his friend.

A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident. “Hawks Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal,” he starts writing in his notebook.

“But I’m not a Hawks fan,” the little hero replied.

“Sorry, since we are in Chicago I just assumed you were,” said the reporter and he starts writing again. “Bears Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack.”

“I’m not an Bears fan either,” the boy said.

“Oh, I assumed everyone in Chicago was either for the Bears or the Black Hawks. What team do you root for?” the reporter asked.

“I’m from San Fransisco, I’m a 49er’s fan,” the child said.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, “Little Bastard From San Fransisco Kills beloved family pet”.

Well with Oscar wandering the Mid-West, that keeps me busy.  Right Charlene?

Thaaaaats Right…   Get your a$$ back here O.

Thanks for reading!

Ciao!

Welcome to Oscar’s Tavern!

Mr. Oscar is so busy lately that he asked me again to write something.  But not to say anything about what him and Miss Kim do in his office.

Well today is Thursday and I have school.  I’m doing this here while I wait for my mom. She had to talk to Willy about something.

I asked Miss Charlene what she will cook today. She said Fried Chicken with mashed potatos and gravy!  I like that!     Mr. Oscar said we have to have Coors Light for some weasel lady or something like that.   I think he’s nuts   Miss Charlene is tired today. She went to the baseball game last night.

Willy said after school when I come by, he will make me a virgin pina colada.  Why is it Virgin when its made here? Folks in Virginia don’t make Jersey Pina Coladas.   I think he’s nuts too. 

Mr. Oscar said Belinda and Kim kept him up last night.  They must have been talking too loud or something.   He has to travel again.  He says he’s going to the Mid-West cities.  The windy and the twins.  Willy says that sounds like his old girlfirends. (he said put a drum roll here).   He reads what I write.

Well my mom is calling me.  I gotta go.  Mr Oscar says he apologizes that he hasn’t written much.  He says he haas no time lately.  Maybe if he stayed home once in a while he would.

Have a nice weekend!

Ciao

Snoopy picture

Welcome to Oscar’s Tavern!

Hi Everyone!  I’m sorry we havn’t been very hospitable. We’re all just worn out  and busy as hell.

Charlene agreed that we are letting Heather provide lunch today.  She’s got RED CHILI STEW.  We’re figurin’ you’d need something cold with that so draft specials today. $1.50.

What is Tme?   It means TIme.  I have none so there’s no i.  LOL  I feel like I’m not paying attention to my customers.  This month is going to be real busy for me. 

We here at the Tavern will try our best to visit your establishments as much as we can.  Meanwhile…

The church wanted to help their congregation cope better with the stresses of modern life, and decided to offer a course in Time Management.

Soon after the course was announced, a member telephoned the Pastor.

“What time does the course start, Pastor?”

The Pastor replied, “Oh… six-ish, seven-ish….”

—————————

Even though he could not tell time, my three-year-old grandson was wearing a watch when I visited. Later, when I was putting on my coat to leave, I asked him what time it was. He looked at his watch blankly, then brightened. “It’s time for you to go,” he answered triumphantly.

Sorry for the lame Post.  next time

My best to all of you !

Thanks for stopping by!

Ciao

Welcome to Oscar’s Tavern!

How are you today?   A busy day for me.

It’s been busy everywhere.  Seems like there’s no time for anything lately.  So its the first day of fall. Augh.   Oh yeah, the pretty leaves, that last’s what…. a week.  Then cold comes.

NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo!

(ah-hem…)

So lets see. Oh, Our Queen o’ the Tavern has a nice dish for us today, Hot Roast Beef sandwiches on an italian roll with swiss cheese and horseradish dressing!  Damn, that sounds tasty!  And lets wash it down with a frosty cold Coors Light! 

Boy you wouldn’t believe the amount of people who just sat here last night, watching television.  I guess the Fall season has started. It was eerie, so quiet. When a commercial came on, it got noisy, then quiet again.  I’m not a big television fan. I don’t rush home to see a show.  I do DVR something I may want to watch, like “Two and a half men“. That show cracks me up.  I enjoy the Law and Order shows, SVU especially.  Occasionally the CSI’s.  House is interesting, predictable, but interesting.  I enjoy some of the sitcoms. I suppose if I had more time to watch television, I’d have more favorites. Oh I do watch baseball and football.  That’s real REALITY TV.  The other reality shows are all scripted trash. But again, TV is not a religion for me.

…  A man comes home from work and says to his wife, “Honey, whaddya say we go upstairs and have a little sex?”
“No,” she replies, “I have a headache.”
“Is that your final answer?” he asks.
“Of course.”
“In that case, I’m going to have to phone a friend.”

…  Actual extract from film magazine:
Movie: “The Wizard of Oz”:
Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first woman she meets, then teams up with three complete strangers to kill again.

Have you noticed that everything costs more these days?  And with a lot of people out of work, or not getting increases,  its harder and harder to keep up!  I may have to raise prices here at the tavern. I’d like not to but I think I have to. 

How about you stop giving away all those drinks?

But those are for my friends…

So it looks like October will be an especially busy month for me.  Traveling a lot.  Puerto Rico, Chicago, Minneapolis, California and Florida.  OK, Florida is a vacation.

AGAIN?

Yes.

Hey! check out Holly’s Stand Up routine!

Have a great day!  Cheers!

Ciao

Welcome to Mr. Oscar’s Tavern

Hi My name is Eric.   Mr. Oscar asked me to fill in today.  Let me start.

Um, Charlene (she’s real pretty, Leo says she has a nice butt!  LOL )  has very tasty lunch for you today. It is Philadelf, um..Philadelph.. um Philly Cheesesteaks!  She say they are Phat!   Oh, fat.

and the drink of the day is Budweiser.   It is yummy they say. I’m too young to drink.

Willy says I am green.  Does that mean I’m energy efficient?  Wendy would like me then.

Oh – here are the pictures of lunch. 

Oscar called today and he said he wished he had some of Heather’s minestrone.  He’s not happy where he is in California. He complained about all the resturants being “chains”.  I imagine that must be hard to bite. LOL

Heather’s Minestrone Soup.

A lot of things happen here.  Willy and Charlene kinda run the place.   Vinnie and Lisa are bartending. He’s complaining about Lisa.  He says she takes too long to make drinks.  I think she does fine.  She’s a nice woman. She talks to me a lot.  I like that.  I wonder if she likes younger guys….   she makes an awesome Shirly temple!  She shakes her butt a lot when the juke box is playing.  Some of the guys at the bar today said its like watching Tennis, except nobody complains.

Willy was talking to a guy from another bar.  Say’s its a strip joint.  My mom says stay away from drugs.

My mom says she doesn’t like me hanging around Oscars tavern.  “Seedy characters in there!”   I don’t know, everyone here seems to be real nice. 

Don’t say anything but Leo broke something in the tap thing. They’re trying to glue it before Mr. Oscar gets back.  I think its his Smithwicks Ale tap handle he got from Ireland. Leo said the poop will hit the fan if he see’s it like that.  Ew, thats gross!

Willy said Leo was farting around with it.  Funny I didn’t smell anything.

I like my new teacher at school. She is nice.  The kids said they heard her fart last year.  She comes here sometimes Charlene said.

Did you know that Charlene drives an F250 truck?   That’s awesome!

I’m beginning to wonder about Mr. Oscar. I found girly panties in his desk drawer.  Why would he wear Victoria’s secret?   And what IS the secret anyway?

he has about 50 Hot wheel cars in his office. they are all Mustangs.  maybe thats what him and Miss Kim do when they go in there. Play with the cars…  I hear them sometimes…..”Ummmmmm, ummmmmmm!” 

Willy says this is enough.

bye

( I can’t decide which snoopy picture to put here, i liked them all, so pretend there’s one here. Its a thing for ###.  Sshhhh!)

Welcome to Oscar’s Tavern!

How are you today?  This is Willy.   Oscar had to fly away AGAIN.  Business emergency I’m told.  He was told Friday so off to San Francisco he was yesterday.  We’re holding the fort for him as usual.  Charlene is here with us.

 Charlene says todays special is a Fried Fish sandwich with cole slaw and fried chips.   We’ll have to put one in a FedEx box and send it to Oscar, he loves this.  She also recommends todays drink, Captain and coke. “In a pint glass” she says.

Thaaats right!

The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.    You were born somewhere else.    You know how to eat an artichoke.    The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic.    Your car has bulletproof windows.    Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.    You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by.    You can’t find your other earring because your son is wearing it.    You drive to your neighborhood block party.    Your family tree contains ’significant others’.    Your cat has it’s own psychiatrist.    You don’t exterminate your roaches, you smoke them.    You see 25 lawyers chasing an ambulance.    You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.    Your blind date turns out to be your ex-spouse.    More money is spent on facelifts than on diapers.    When you can’t schedule a meeting because you must ‘do lunch’.    Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks.    Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news.    You’ll reluctantly miss yoga class to wait for the hot tub repairman.    You consult your horoscope before planning your day.    A glass has been reserved for you at your favorite winery.    All highways out of the state say: ‘Go back’.    You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach.

Oh, Mrs. 4444 was here during the weekend. She’s a sweet gal.  She DID drink a little too much so we licensed the same girl who drew her portrait she posted to provide her rendering for us!

Have a great day!

Ciao.

Welcome to Oscar’s Tavern!

How is everyone today?  Good I hope.  I’m a little tired, but ok.  Charlene, god bless her pretty lil’ heart has been here to help me with my little problems and I’m getting better. Thanks to those who cared!   Love is a funny thing.

So let’s get on the bike and pedal forward.. (OK I have training wheels on today still)

You mean you’re still drunk

Shhhhhhh!

Yeah, a Huffy bike with Dewars training wheels….  LOL

Ok, so we helped each other.

Yes.

Charlene and I have  relationship problems  

Oh sure bring my life to the bar….LOL   Everyone will leave…

Tell them whats for today..

Oh, well we have Chicken Murphy, cooked all the Murphy while I was listening to you all night Mr. Oscar….   Drowning himself in , oh yes, Merlot.

(Oscar takes a bar rag and playfully slaps Charlene on the butt, she sprays him with coke from the dispenser….)

HEY!!!   (laughing)  STOP!!!

TWO Barrels, Cowboy!!!! (laughing)

(Charlene takes the seltzer water nozzle and fights back with both… the floor is a mess… Willy walks in…

What the Sam Hill is going on here!?!?!?

Oscar grabs the sink hose and sprays Willy, Charlene makes him a “coke soda”.

What the hell is wrong with you too!

 Charlene and Oscar just stand there and laugh like hell. Charlene slides to the floor, Oscar squats down next to her. The two sad drunks hug with tears in thier eyes.  All is quiet.

You guys are fu#&ed up. Stop drinkin’ we open soon.

Damned kids.

Clean this Go# da&# mess up.  Get a room!

PAUSE

Click HERE.

So….  um….    

Come on in and enjoy a nice dish of Charlene’s Chicken murphy!  And a nice glass of merlot.

You regulars, the drinks are on me.  (Willy says)

Joe was talking to his buddy at the bar, and he said, “I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday – she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I’m stumped.”

His buddy said, “I have an idea – why don’t you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it – she’ll probably be thrilled.”

So the that’s what Joe did.

The next day at the bar his buddy said, “Well? Did you take my suggestion?”

“Yes, I did,” said Joe.

“Did she like it?” His buddy asked.

“Oh yes! she jumped up , thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling “I’ll be back in an hour!!”

I have a mess to clean…..

Ciao!

(yes, you too Ms. Tavern Queen…. >slap, >splash<…..)

d