Meow

Welcome to Oscar’s Tavern!

Hey everyone!   It’s “The Girl” here from Searching for a New Tomorrow.  Oscar is currently sunning himself with his entire staff in Florida, yes – Again.  This man gets around more than anyone else I know.  He asked me to come and take care of the Bar today.  Oopps, his fault.
 
Now I’m not sure of how much of a good idea it was leaving me in charge of the bar.  Don’t tell him, but I’ve already drank an entire case of Mich Ultra and have been mixing my Rocky Mountain MoFos all day.
 
I certainly hope no one pops in for food.  Believe you me, you do not want me cooking.  So on the menu we have on special Amstel Light, Grey Goose Vodka, and Chips.  Maybe just maybe I could cook a hotdog if need be.
 
So tonight, I’ve decided to spice up Oscar’s Tavern.  I’ve invited all my stripper friends from Delilah’s and they are coming over wearing their Shamrock pasties !  I’ve temporarily installed a pole on the bar, hope Oscar doesn’t notice the hole I had to cut.  I purchased a smoke machine and hired a kick ass DJ to play the songs for the girls.     And don’t worry, I’ve told them to leave their pasties on so Oscar doesn’t get fined for indecent exposure without a license.  Lap dances will be half price for all men with tattoos and free for guys who drive Harleys.
 
We are also preparing for mud wrestling.  I went to Wal-Mart and purchased a plastic baby pool which were are currently, as I write this, filling with Chocolate pudding.  All men are required to wear tightly whities or nothing at all in order to get in the ring.  I hear a few of Philadelphia’s finest will be there.  Hot Philly Cop has already signed up to be the first one in the pool.
 
So sorry about the food folks, but we will have lots of misbehaving, naughty activities at the Tavern tonight.  You know the old saying “When the Cat’s Away, the Mice will Play.”   I’m predicting that Oscar’s will have its best night ever. 
 
And don’t worry, if you leave your underwear behind, I’ll make sure to clean up so no one gets in trouble !!!!!!
 
Adios Friends of the Tavern, I must go slip into my pasties and thong – and get ready to bar tend!  And remember, don’t tell Oscar, sssshhhhh – it’s our little secret.
 
See you all tonight -  The Girl XXXOOO

~ by oscarstavern on June 16, 2009.